God: "ugggggh. the humans are being super gay again. it's really just pissing me off and i can't even say why…just something about it"
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Attributes of God: 1. Source of creation 2. Eternal 3. Timeless 4. Perfect 5. Infinite 6. Spends most of time worrying about how gay we are
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"oh no. now they are picking out furniture together and it's like…really gay furniture. their living room is going to be so gay damnit"
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7. watches which muslim woman will show some hair
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8. gets insulted when these ones eat pork and those ones eat beef
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You forgot 7: Impressed by gaudy mega churches that only accept people in need after the public shelters are full.
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We should all help God find more hobbies. Maybe get God an iPad with an iTunes gift card or something. Or maybe Zoomba.
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As long as God isn't spending all of God's time sitting around in Heaven watching Fox News, right? Get out there and make friends, God!
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How about: 7. Takes active interest in the outcome of various sporting events.
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2=3 and contraindicates 6.
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