Realist: doesn't matter, you're going to spill the damn glass anyway.
Optimist: the glass is half full. Pessimist: the glass is half empty. Communist: the bourgeoisie robbed the noble worker of half his glass!
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Capitalist: Give me your glass, and maybe some drops will trickle down.
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Engineer: glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
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The internet: You filled the glass wrong.
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Postmodernist: I refuse to engage with your false dichotomy of full and empty.
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Moral Particularist: While I have no set rules about glasses, this glass seems the wrong size, or the quantity of water is incorrect.
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Not communist, though. Anarchist. Marx never stated that private property or surplus was theft, Proudhon did.
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