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The culinary achievements of 1000 years of English civilization, so far as I can tell, are these 5 things: 1. fish & chips 2. beans on toast 3. cheese on toast 4. several deserts that are basically just cream 5. taking whatever's left in the pantry and putting it in a puff pastry
The fact that the English think "Fish & Chips" is some kind of amazing culinary creation says it all. It's not even a dish. It's just two things next to each other. You fried a fish and you fried potatoes and put them on the same plate.
Plate? That's making it too posh.
unironically eating the chips in a rolled up newspaper
Hey it's me, the British. Yeah I'm kinda nutty, I colonized half the world for spice routes yet have no idea what seasoning is 
War time cuisine has somehow carried on into the present, however the colonization of India did provide a bit more variety in the English and British diet.
And it was brought here by either Italian or Jewish immigrants depending on which story you believe
Jewish immigrants. From Portugal.
it rules
I see that English cookery is your equivalent to Freud's "dark continent." It's not to your credit. Consider: Savory pies. Steak and kidney. Venison and blackberry. Curried chicken. Beef and ale. Real ale. Yes, it's a food. Stilton. Yorkshire pudding. Plate? Paper cone. Pls. Etc.
It's also basically Spanish
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