Kant: “wait, what? I had a girlfriend??”
How philosophers break up with people: Sartre: "I authentically, freely, don't want to be with you." Russell: "I can demonstrate with logic that we aren't good together." Nietzsche: *writes 600 page essay on why the übermensch wouldn't need a girlfriend*
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Foucault: I only love you because I’m a masochist because of society and the past. Barthes: my love for you is remote. You remind me of my mother. I was five.
End of conversation
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*kicks rocks while looking dejected* ...yes...
End of conversation
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Lacan: "You no longer make me lack. There is no sexual relation anyhow..."
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Žižek: (sniff)...
End of conversation
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Deleuze: "Look I'm already sleeping with one person, so sleeping with n+1 is a difference in degree, not in kind".
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Žižek's wife: "Honey, let's not have sex tonight". Žižek: "I'm afraid I have no sexual desire for you, can we instead do without love?"
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“But you said we were going out tonight.” “...RADICAL FREEDOM!”
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And Aristotle:Phht... Women...
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