Daniel Mallory Ortberg

@evilmallelis

Vera said that?

Geregistreerd in augustus 2017
325 foto's en video's Foto's en video's

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  1. 21 jun.

    "Now these are the generations of Pharez: Nahshon begat Salmon, and Salmon begat Boaz, and Boaz begat Obed, and Obed begat Jesse, and Jesse begat David, and so it was that everyone got what what was coming to them." The Book of Ruth, Part II

    2 antwoorden 2 retweets 30 vind-ik-leuks
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  2. 15 jun.

    the deceiver, the show pony, floor-boy, the grizabella, the primary partner, the untouchable: chapsticks currently on my person, ranked

    3 antwoorden 28 retweets 191 vind-ik-leuks
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  3. 11 jun.

    "the tanakh's first soyboy" is how I just described my biblical namesake to ; "yes, leonine but not aggressive" was her reply

    4 antwoorden 2 retweets 150 vind-ik-leuks
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  4. 11 jun.

    sometimes i catch myself idly refreshing my inbox expecting i will find an email informing me i have won a prize. what kind of prize? for what? why do i think i will be notified over email? why don't i just answer the emails that are actually there?

    26 antwoorden 141 retweets 2.377 vind-ik-leuks
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  5. heeft geretweet
    8 jun.

    I am in the American Vandal panel at ATX, and I have important news: the actor who played Trimboli did not wash his face for two weeks so his skin would look like that for real.

    23 antwoorden 129 retweets 1.587 vind-ik-leuks
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  6. 8 jun.

    I wept as I wrote this!

    1 antwoord 40 vind-ik-leuks
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  7. 8 jun.

    Epimetheus and Prometheus, Part II: Pandora's Visit

    2 antwoorden 12 retweets 126 vind-ik-leuks
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  8. 8 jun.

    it must have been thousands of people at this point and I hope it never stops

    1 antwoord 3 retweets 267 vind-ik-leuks
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  9. 8 jun.

    it brings me nothing but joy to contemplate how many people this last year must have sent John Mulaney a link to the Ocean's 8 trailer and reminded him of his women's heist movie bit

    4 antwoorden 79 retweets 934 vind-ik-leuks
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  10. 8 jun.

    I would also pay any amount of money to travel back in time and marry Donald O'Connor circa 1953

    8 antwoorden 4 retweets 124 vind-ik-leuks
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  11. 8 jun.

    that said the audience just laughed at simply a REFERENCE to the film the Jerk and I think they need to make these two work harder

    4 antwoorden 80 vind-ik-leuks
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  12. 8 jun.

    I would pay any amount of money to watch them recreate Don and Cosmo's old vaudeville routine from the early scenes in Singin' In The Rain

    5 antwoorden 140 vind-ik-leuks
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  13. 8 jun.

    I WAS NOT ABOVE LAUGHING when Martin Short said "how are we doing on time?" and Steve Martin said "we just started" on their new special, which I am grimly determined to love for some reason

    11 antwoorden 221 vind-ik-leuks
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  14. 7 jun.

    "obviously not i just want to go on record as hating it" Epimetheus and Prometheus

    3 antwoorden 39 retweets 131 vind-ik-leuks
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  15. 7 jun.

    every painting of the Lupercalian she-wolf getting suckled by (from? w/e) Romulus and Remus with the "IT'S A LIVING" Flintstones caption, new motto of Rome

    5 antwoorden 42 retweets 404 vind-ik-leuks
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  16. heeft geretweet
    6 jun.

    in honor of sex and the city’s 20th anniversary please enjoy almost a full minute of me saying “aw c’mon Miranda, it’s me...Steve” in my best Steve voice

    21 antwoorden 44 retweets 555 vind-ik-leuks
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  17. 7 jun.

    The Book of Ruth, Part I

    7 antwoorden 1 retweet 67 vind-ik-leuks
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  18. 6 jun.

    also an exciting transition update as you can see the progression of my neck acne

    1 antwoord 158 vind-ik-leuks
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  19. 6 jun.

    in honor of sex and the city’s 20th anniversary please enjoy almost a full minute of me saying “aw c’mon Miranda, it’s me...Steve” in my best Steve voice

    21 antwoorden 44 retweets 555 vind-ik-leuks
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  20. 6 jun.

    hands down the most charming verse in the bible is galatians 6:11 ("look at how much bigger the letters are when i write this by hand! ok bye, yrs in the lord")

    13 antwoorden 42 retweets 450 vind-ik-leuks
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