Let me just say, I'm pretty good now that coursework is over. I'm simply detailing problems in the academy, especially around (mental) health.
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You’re right, and there are also more important things in my life than my program which required me to choose it. It was the easiest way to take care of business and continue my education. Sometimes sacrifices have to be made and this doesn’t stop me from admonishing the system.
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That’s my thing, I always take time off now, but, it’s easy when you first enter the academy to feel the pressure to always be working, especially as a minority when you have to ensure your future employment.
End of conversation
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My dissertation chair noticed that I wasn’t responding to emails as quickly or in the same tone that I usually did, she talked with me, then gave me $20 to visit the counseling center. She knew it had been rough semester and was concerned.
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Find some social support either from other grad students at your institution or from another department. I’m sorry they aren’t doing more to support you.
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A loved one passed away a few days before my oral comps exam and my advisor reprimanded me for not performing as well as he expected, saying in his email “I know you’re grieving BUT...” He also low key accused me of lying about it by noting that I didn’t submit “proof”


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A similar situation with family happened to me. I don’t even want to get into the issues that have happened with my comps. Took my written in January, finally taking my oral on the 5th.
I hope you’re getting the support you need now, or I hope you don’t need any! - Show replies
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I hate that academia is like this. (And a lot of jobs are too) They expect you to just be a machine and have zero sympathy for you as a human being!
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Someone shared a 2017 article on facebook about vacation shaming, and it said 1/4 of millennial workers feel nervous about taking vacation due to their bosses. When it comes to sickness its even worse. There is no sympathy at all.
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