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Ooof. Adoptees already deal with a stigma that there's something they have inherently and intrinsic to who they are that makes them less desirable, less than. Like, you coulda picked a different frame?https://twitter.com/nicolesjchung/status/1288845909690851329 …
I once had a conversation with someone I like but didn't know well enough, who was having trouble getting pregnant and I asked her casually if she'd considered adoption. It didn't bother me that she said no, but she added, "I don't want a kid who's already damaged."
I waited a beat before I told her I was adopted, lol. Then instead of just admitting that her priors were bad, she was like, "but you're an exception!" Sigh.
I guess it works out because if that's what you think, you definitely should NOT adopt a child.
(Which is not say there's no trauma associated with adoption, btw. But it takes a special kind of narcissist to decide that it's a de facto sign of inferiority, and that the adoptee is less functional than the adopter.)
I divorced my 1st husband because after 14 years of trying, he would not adopt. I wanted to be a mom much more than I wanted to be a wife, so we went our separate ways.
I was at my son’s birth 18 months later and he is a crazy awesome 16 yo 
best thing I’ve ever done. Family.
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