So it is particularly galling to hear men talking about what they'd have done in the victim's place. They have no experience of the kind of character assassination victims experience when they aren't believed. Men don't get slut shamed, accused of hysteria.
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Nor are they criticized for having the temerity to believe they should be able to do things like attend parties without assuming they're putting themselves in harm's way, and failing to blame themselves for their own assaults when they do.
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I am sorry you went through all that.
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I was assaulted by my 50 year old boss when I was 16. I never even thought of reporting it. In fact, I kept working with him. It's just something we are trained to live with.
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That's horrible, and I'm sorry that happened to you. You are right about the training.
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I know a woman, a good friend of mine, who was kidnapped and raped and still never reported it. It can be absolutely terrifying to revisit those sorts of things. I didn't hear about it until many years after it happened.
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I do, too. My sister. She was 50 before she told me how she was picked up by two men, taken to a field and raped by both. She never said a word when she came home. She was 14 and too ashamed to speak. Our mom wouldn’t have had the courage to stand up for her.
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I was raped by a man I had an affair with. We were on a biz trip & he decided I'd betrayed him. He came to my hotel room, raped me, smashed my computer. I still had to work w/ him the next day because I had no way home. I know what would be said if I came forward, so I never will
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I bet you’re not the only one in his history of abuse, but I understand not coming forward. I am so sorry. I hope one day you & his likely other victims can bring him down together. Fuck him.
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