Lizz Schumer

Do one thing every day that scares you. Or if you can't do that, at least do one thing. #realisticlifeadvice

Some days, you really get in the groove and just rock it out all day. Today is not one of those days.

"You can't realize your dreams if you can't articulate them." - Anthony Bourdain

All this nonsense is why I adore the funk

Now, excuse me while I try to resist the urge to listen in on all of @thenickguy's meetings and work interactions with my heroes.

Being the wife of a NYT journal is almost as cool as reaching the peak myself. Now I drool over the job and the man! #partylikeajournalist

Woke up at 5am, sweaty, heart racing. Laid there until 8. Anxiety, you're awesome. #notcool #insomnia

Was making excellent lesson planning progress. Then a photo of a juggling otter surfaced...#procrastination #proflife

*America's Test Kitchen Voice* The secret to a great spaghetti squash is enough fat to ameliorate any low-calorie qualities.

Got invited to a #Halloween party a week out. Need a costume, stat! Any quick n easy ideas, tweeps?

Not sure what's more satisfying: Warm laundry or the little victory song the dryer sings when it's done.

#Fact: the majority of black people in America don't live in the "inner city".

A candidate stated his opponent will be in jail if he wins, & he admitted to not paying fed income tax. I don't know what else to discuss.

Any woman who can stare calmly into the eyes of a bully and sexual predator without breaking a sweat is a woman I want to be president tbh

TRUMP: "i'm a gentleman" FACT CHECKER: (throws himself out of window)

Please baby Jesus, can we elect a candidate who knows how to speak coherent English? I mean, at the very least. #unproud

This is a presidential race between a polished piece of punditry and the comments section below it. #debate