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  1. Pinned Tweet
    27 Jul 2016

    If it's not one thing, it's that thing and also other things.

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  2. Retweeted
    Apr 3

    Abbott never called a special session to address Harvey. He just waited for the feds.

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  3. Retweeted
    Apr 3

    Anyone know of a good job for someone that hates people?

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  4. Retweeted
    Apr 3

    We have enough characters to type out the word “you’re” now, if you have that kind of time

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  5. Retweeted
    Apr 2

    [sound of pebbles hitting my bedroom window] ME: omg this is just like the movies *looks outside* DEPRESSION: wazzaaaaaaap

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  6. Apr 3

    I just wish I had something to look forward to while I continue to watch my dad’s mind decay

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  7. Retweeted
    4 Apr 2016

    Please be gentle with me I used to be a baby

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  8. Retweeted
    Mar 31

    Polite reminder that Roseanne is currently employed by the same corporation that suspended Jemele Hill for tweets about a corporate partner

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  9. Retweeted
    Mar 27

    What men like John Bolton don’t understand is that no American soldier “desires” to die in a war.

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  10. Retweeted
    Feb 17

    Draw me like one of your french girls.

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  11. Retweeted
    Mar 30

    i used to be really paranoid until i realized nobody gave a shit about me

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  12. Retweeted
    Mar 30
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  13. Retweeted

    Hollywood: Get Out was a one-time thing, lightning in a bottle Also Hollywood: Due to the success of Roseanne we are proud to announce a 40-episode revival of "RACIST ALF"

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  14. Retweeted
    Mar 10
    This media may contain sensitive material. Learn more
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  15. Retweeted
    Mar 30

    antifa just arrived at whole foods. they’re spray painting “fewer” over the “less” in the “10 items or less” sign by the checkout line. people are screaming

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  16. Retweeted
    Mar 29

    Depression: stay in bed all day Me: sure Anxiety: worry about everything tho Me: I always do that Social media: log in and somehow feel worse Me: that doesn’t make any sense but ok

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  17. Retweeted
    Mar 29

    Roseanne is being praised for representing both sides on a network that didn't air Black-ish's episode on NFL players kneeling

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  18. Retweeted

    "Alpha Male" the early version of a male, before testing and bug fixes. Unstable and not suitable for the public

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  19. Retweeted
    Mar 27

    me to me: I am upset me to me: now’s a great time to practice some self love me to me: ok good idea me to me (gently): don’t be a little bitch

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  20. Mar 27

    Braided hairs and a boggo dog.

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  21. Mar 26

    This dog, you guys.

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