After nearly 10 years of multiple panic attacks per week, I couldn't function anymore. I developed major depressive disorder.
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I had to do so much reading on my own about anxiety + depression before I was able to go to a doctor and articulate what exactly was wrong.
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But even then, it was nearly impossible to articulate it to other people. I lost nearly all my friends during this time.
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Going to therapy regularly is giving me the tools to look back on my life and understand why I think and act the way I do.
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The medication helps with the chemical imbalances; therapy helps repair the lasting trauma.
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Now when I encounter anxiety--like being SURE everyone I know hates me--I can express this constructively to the people closest to me
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And I can express the reality, that my friends care about me, to myself using the vocabulary I've learned in therapy.
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These skills are invaluable to me as I continue to manage my anxiety on a day-to-day basis, and I feel like I'm finally *myself*.
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I'm sharing this because I want you to know that this is an ongoing battle that you can win. There's no shame in finding what works for you.
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I will always talk openly about this, because I know that if I had only known what to say, maybe I would have gotten help sooner.
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