We had a delegate who objected to Nora's comparison of Angelo, a sexually manipulative and abusive man in a position of power and privilege, and a high profile rape case which took place in the USA.
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I think that this delegate felt that, in discussing the case, Nora and everyone engaging with the session was acting as judge and jury. I believe this individual was concerned that we were making a judgement which it wasn't our call to make, rather than referring to a case...
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... in which the defendant was proven guilty and sentenced for sexual assault. One of the comments that the delegate made was that "he has so much more to lose than she does", which took me back to quite a dark time in my life, when I was physically assaulted.
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It followed months of bullying and derogatory, mocking comments, and caused enormous disruption to my personal and academic life. But when I informed the police, I was asked, over the phone, to "consider the impact" of pressing charges on the person who assaulted me.
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All this came flooding back with one simple sentence, and I had to fight off a panic attack whilst continuing chairing. It is so, so important to consider other people's experience, *particularly* in academic settings.
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I was lucky. What happened to me back then was not, in the grand scheme of things, that bad. And yesterday, in the wonderfully supportive environment of
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But it still really, really affected me. At these events, please be thoughtful, be considerate. Phrase sensitive questions with thought, and think about the possible impact on the other person. Use trigger warnings in papers, like so many of our amazing presenters have done.
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Don't erase people's experience, or assume you know better than someone who has been in that situation. Be kind. It takes very little, and makes a world of difference.
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And to those of you who've been on the flip side, and felt attacked, hurt, frightened, or otherwise uncomfortable because of something that's been said at a conference, let people know. Tell your conf. buddies, or the organisers. Keep yourself safe and well. You deserve that.
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