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@emilytheslayer

International Unicorn of Mystery. Recruiter for Paint & Plant Nite, runner of conventions, adopted 4 kittens at the same time. Married to . she/her.

Massachusetts
Joined April 2009
4,126 Photos and videos Photos and videos

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  1. Pinned Tweet
    Feb 2

    Help me out here have you ever stabbed yourself in the face with your own fingernail?

    3 replies 3 likes
  2. Retweeted
    Jul 18

    A woman can accomplish anything with red lipstick and a great pair of eels

    39 replies 2,134 retweets 6,729 likes
  3. Retweeted
    22 hours ago

    Trent Reznor's name backwards is Ron Zertnert.

    198 replies 5,412 retweets 18,435 likes
  4. 16 hours ago
    Replying to

    Male protag describes her as a cupcake and it is *so fucking hot*

    1 reply 3 likes
  5. 16 hours ago
    Replying to

    M/F, female protag is fat and glorious

    1 reply 2 likes
  6. 16 hours ago

    Uh romance/smut/good book lovers go read King of Bourbon Street immediately. I'm not even to the real smut and it's killing me

    1 reply 2 likes
  7. Retweeted
    17 Jul 2016

    And Joy Division to combat dog fouling

    28 replies 766 retweets 1,012 likes
  8. 21 hours ago

    I decorated my desk with postcards from by , a picture of friends, and succulent, jellyfish, and unicorn washi.

    2 replies 4 likes
  9. Jul 19

    "A Beautiful Anus has retweeted your tweet." Thanks for the update, twitter. Great work.

    2 replies 2 retweets 12 likes
  10. Retweeted
    Jul 17

    When you feel like shit but you try and make an effort

    58 replies 3,335 retweets 7,493 likes
  11. Jul 18

    It's got those Wheelie shoes on. Glide, motherfucker

    When the GIF frames per second match your leg speed.
    1 retweet 3 likes
  12. Retweeted
    Jul 18

    I don't have a resting bitch face. My bitch face is always on duty, ever vigilant. My bitch face will rest when its work is done.

    97 replies 13,238 retweets 30,862 likes
  13. Retweeted
    Jul 18

    Readers of the evening, come and wander a surreal Paris, where all is not quite as it seems...

    On the floor, I hiked my skirts up and began to disassemble myself, starting with my left knee.
    2 retweets 10 likes
  14. Jul 18

    First day in new office at new desk, and there's a problem. I need art for that divider wall.

    1 reply 1 like
  15. Jul 18

    ~*humorless feminist ruining your jokes sorry not sorry*~

    6 likes
  16. Jul 18

    Like I get it, “haha misogynists are afraid of vaginas” is fun and all, but I don’t want to be reduced to my body parts by anyone?

    8 likes
  17. Jul 18

    Hey I’m all for the “women ruining your favorite franchises” jokes but can we noooooot continue equating vaginas with womanhood?

    2 replies 110 retweets 296 likes
  18. Retweeted
    Jul 17

    1/2 We always forgive Shakespeare’s treatment of Shylock. But in The Horror at Red Hook > Tom Greene

    1 retweet 1 like
  19. Retweeted
    Jul 17

    Had it not been for Joseph (he of the "Cotton Eye") I would have wed in my youth. None know from where he arrived, nor where he departed to

    1 reply 2 retweets 4 likes
  20. Jul 16

    Accurate

    "The woman in the year 2000", as pictured in 1899
    2 likes
  21. Jul 16

    This tweet did not deserve this much attention what the heck is wrong with twitter

    3 likes

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