Life is just messes you will leave behind for other people to deal with because ur basically just as selfish and shitty as everyone else.
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Listening to Esther Perel talking abt desire and aliveness and eroticism on the way tour nursing homes is a fucking grotesquerie i should have known better than to subject myself to but here we are.
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Remember when my tweets were about DJs and underground circus parties and fashion shows and making music festivals. It was all just borrowed time.
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And its a boring story, but I always knew it would be like this, everything just an ongoing loss in the process of happening.
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So how are u supposed to have a conversation abt DNR vs full code for one parent with the other?
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I mean listen to the podcasts and read the books by doctors (occupational hazard) so i know what full code means at that point. But like....
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Replying to @babiejenks
Read your whole thread. My Gramma died of Alzheimer's. It's really hard. Sending you good thoughts.
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Replying to @emahlee @babiejenks
I thought of this tonight...I don't think of it often but it's a persistent memory: me in class. I'm 16. Talking to my friends about how we're going to blink and then be old, then dead. How short life is. It scared me even then how short and brutal and beautiful life is.
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Replying to @emahlee @babiejenks
This is making me remember all kinds of things. My Gramma was very modest. Then Alzheimer's. In the nursing home, I helped her use the bathroom several times, wiped her butt when she forgot to wipe. She did the same for me when I was a baby. Least I could do.
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Replying to @emahlee @babiejenks
When I was in our local trauma hospital for 11 days, with both hands broken and other injuries, nurses around my age had to wipe my butt too. Recovering from my accident was rough, in so many ways. But I grew so much because of it. Grateful for all who helped along the way.
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In these days of late-stage capitalism, climate chaos, and The Culture doing its best to rip away our humanity and connection to others, I've turned to poetry more and more. I read this to my Gramma during her final days and at her funeral. art and love and life.pic.twitter.com/qFF3XfTXMx
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Replying to @emahlee
Thank you for all your messages. Just seeing them as im getting ready for work. I will reply more later. Just wanted to let you know ive seen them. And thank you.
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Replying to @babiejenks @emahlee
And im sorry about your grandmother. And your hands!
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