This is so important https://twitter.com/AnaMardoll/status/989148053398540288 …
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[DANGER WILL ROBINSON ROBOT NOISE] Oddly enough the only thing that saved me from the full brunt of his attention was because I had a "reputation" already due to other stuff going on. For him I was "tainted" so I became like....a practice woman for him.
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I was a pretty girl who talked to him and drove him places and let him complain at me for hours because I was in a place where I thought I didn't deserve nice people in my life :/ But he would talk to me about this other girl who was "perfect"
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The other girl (who I never met) was the object of his obsession and I say object intentionally. For all he talked to me about her (AND IT WAS A LOT) I pretty much only knew her name. I didn't know her major, her age, her hometown, her interests, her hair color.
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You know when you like someone, you want to tell people about how great they are???? This dude only talked about her in relation to himself and how sad he was and unfair it was and how HIS LIFE HAD NO MEANING without her touching his dick. He didn't like her. He wanted her
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And not like sexy wanting. Wanting in the most basic sense of the word. Wanting to own. To have. To say that he had a girlfriend, to be like "other guys"
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He frightened me. He frightened a lot of other people too. We would walk on eggshells when he was around because we were afraid of what he would do. He weaponized his own hurt, his own pain, and made us afraid
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That's what these people DO. They weaponize themselves, they make you feel uncomfortable, afraid, guilty, ANYTHING to give them a sense of control. That's why the whole JUST BE NICE thing doesn't work. Because a lot of times? People ARE nice. Nice isn't enough
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Nice isn't what they want. Friends aren't what they want. They want to be seen as powerful, successful, important, worthy of jealousy. Everything they do is tinged with the sort of possessive violence of privilege. And it's never enough. Nothing will ever be enough
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I remember this kid I'm talking about...I was in a bad place and he knew I had problems with money and he said something along the lines of "oh I know you'd probably fvck me if I paid you enough but that wouldn't count" to. my. face.
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It wouldn't count because he'd know it was a transaction. It was a business deal. It was something for something. He didn't want that. He wanted something for nothing.
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So yeah. Anyway. These people are dangerous and being nice to them doesn't fix anything, it just puts the people around them in danger.
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End of conversation
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