Depends on whether you eat with pants on or off.
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I've eaten way too many leftover cheddar biscuits I took home from Red Lobster last night.




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I'm always willing to eat more for the sake of my country, but why?
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I really, really wanted to respond to this with something witty but your fans nailed it
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Does it count if I ate 4 pieces of pizza?
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i'm already 2 brownies, potato salad, and several drinks in. shit, i'm american. i do what i can
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You are the hero we deserve.
End of conversation
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Don't worry, I just had half a pizza in one sitting.
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*Eating a large bowl of chopped up watermelon that has been soaking and lime vodka for five days.* This is the best 4th of July ever.
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I tried but that third serving of nails really got me
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