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  1. Pinned Tweet
    20 Oct 2015

    I think time is my worst dimension.

  2. Jun 7

    "Amal Clooney and actor husband" Ah, it's the little things that bring the joy.

  3. Retweeted
    Jun 5

    Does anyone know if TLC has relaxed its policy on scrubs?

  4. Retweeted
    Jun 1

    BREAKING NEWS: Trump shutting down Netflix to help bring back Blockbuster jobs.

  5. May 13

    When I get guiltyfood I can always just split it with a friend with no bodyfat to feel better.…

  6. May 9

    Trying to sneak into bed but the dog sees you coming and her tail wakes up the boyfriend.

  7. May 6

    Elski found a new family. 😶 @ Fort Worden

  8. May 5

    "We came to watch the air show! This is my friend, Travis. He's on Youtube! I finally met a real live youtuber." -- kid who rode up on bike

  9. Retweeted
    May 3
  10. Retweeted
    Mar 9

    Healthcare Tip: Befriend a shady veterinarian now

  11. Retweeted
    May 4

    The Republicans have no idea they just killed John Wick's dog.

  12. Retweeted
    May 3

    JUST IN: ObamaCare repeal bill contains exemption for members of Congress and their staffs

  13. May 4

    How can anyone feel anything but terror and disgust?

  14. Retweeted
    May 4

    I'll do what I can to make November 6, 2018 a dawn-to-dusk nightmare for the GOP. Fuck these smirking, entitled frauds. Tick tick tick.

  15. May 4

    Wait. What?

  16. Retweeted
    Apr 30

    "That 70s Show" debuted in 1998, with first season taking place in 1976. The equivalent today is a new sitcom set in 1995.

  17. Retweeted
    Apr 30

    "Woke" is overrated. Get active.

  18. Retweeted
    Apr 30

    It's email debt forgiveness day. We believe in you.

  19. Apr 23

    Okay, . Kicking off day one of a week of first-thing-in-the-morning writing sprints to get me back on track. Wish me luck!

  20. Apr 22

    Screenwriters/others: "No one will believe us" is not a reasonable explanation for hiding a dead body you made in self-defense.

  21. Apr 16

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