Stoned Adulterer

@ElaDarling

VR Porn Queen, TEDx speaker, Ex-librarian, Slytherin, Chaotic Good, amateur roboticist Xbiz Crossover Star of the Year 2018 PVR CMO Press: ela.darling@gmail.com

LA CA USA
Joined November 2009

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  1. 3 hours ago

    These babes are rad as fuck and you should listen to their podcast which is also #10 in comedy.

    HOLY SHIT IS NUMBER 71 OF ALL PODCASTS ON ITUNES
    Show this thread
    1 reply 6 likes
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  2. Retweeted
    14 hours ago

    Would you walk up and hand a random hot girl in public a photo of your dick? No? So then don’t assume it’s okay to do that to us. We are sex WORKERS, so unless you’re paying us, don’t assume it’s fine to send unsolicited dick pics. Yes I’m a pervert, but I still want respect!

    34 replies 65 retweets 291 likes
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  3. 19 hours ago

    Flight attendant dude is giving the folks behind me a fun light hearted rundown of the emergency exit row procedures and I want to be his serious hype man and look them all in the eye and remind them that our lives are in their fucking hands don’t fuck this up DON’T FUCK THIS UP

    4 replies 1 retweet 35 likes
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  4. Retweeted
    Sep 16

    The AP has deleted a tweet about killings in Texas because it identified four individuals allegedly murdered by a Border Patrol officer as prostitutes, rather than as women or victims.

    1,578 replies 8,351 retweets 36,556 likes
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  5. Retweeted
    Sep 16
    Replying to

    1 reply 3 retweets 8 likes
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  6. Sep 16

    JUST IMAGINE if this jackass came across my gorgeous and was like “nah too many dicks tho” sitting there crying over his sad ass dick while the rest of us have so much fun celebrating Nina Fucking Hartley.

    Replying to @ElaDarling
    Wait, what? I mean, what the actual fuck is this nonsense? I'm infertile and I have plenty to offer, jackass. Grrr.
    1 reply 1 retweet 5 likes
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  7. Sep 16

    Was at the front desk and some girls with giant boobs and giant butts and giant lashes and giant nails came to the front desk and I don’t know the Czech words for “let’s be fucking friends forever” please help

    3 replies 22 likes
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  8. Retweeted
    Sep 16

    Who among us didn’t attempt to rape someone at 17?

    102 replies 714 retweets 3,382 likes
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  9. Sep 16

    Kinda missing that spider from last night. Wonder how she’s doing. Maybe I should text her.

    1 reply 11 likes
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  10. Sep 16

    In less than a day I’m going to be face deep in Pomeranian fur so tweet me your photos of dogs looking professional.

    14 replies 1 retweet 35 likes
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  11. Retweeted
    Sep 16

    you've heard of panic! at the Disco, now get ready for

    27 replies 1,649 retweets 4,803 likes
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  12. Retweeted
    Sep 16

    If it only takes me a few minutes to steal millions of dollars or murder someone, does that lessen the crime?

    3 replies 9 retweets 49 likes
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  13. Retweeted
    Sep 16

    Fascinating how attempted (or even completed) rape/sexual assault is always positioned as "twenty minutes of action" or "ten minutes of stupid and terrible behavior" with no recognition of the lasting impact of the damage those minutes caused

    6 replies 23 retweets 59 likes
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  14. Sep 16

    I just fucking love rad ladies is all

    1 retweet 6 likes
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  15. Sep 16

    Have you read Fear by Bob Woodward? Please give me your review if you have.

    2 replies 1 like
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  16. Retweeted
    Sep 16

    love that I give away a greater percentage of my wealth whenever I send twenty bucks to a twitter friend in crisis than bill gates does when he donates a literal billion dollars to some shitty half-fake charity, capitalism WORKS

    10 replies 313 retweets 2,052 likes
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  17. Retweeted
    Sep 16

    "You're a good listener, Steve."

    3 retweets 11 likes
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  18. Sep 16

    😂😂😂😂😂😂 l ell oh fucking ellllllll

    Replying to @ElaDarling
    9 replies 2 retweets 13 likes
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  19. Sep 16

    This self aggrandizing nonsense is the most convincing argument for me to do a gangbang I’ve ever read. Makes me want to spite-fuck just so men who believe this will stay miles away from me and never bother me again.

    Brutal truth: the greatest value a woman has to offer a man is her sexuality, and eggs. Women should maximize the value of both. Don't waste eggs and the value of female sexuality by riding the cock carousel during your 20s. It's too costly. Feminism sold women bad advice.
    Show this thread
    14 replies 6 retweets 66 likes
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  20. Sep 16
    Replying to

    . the breakfast was cool and the spider buddy was a huge fucking dorky weirdo but pretty rad too. The only real bummer is the weird noise and the creepy driveway.

    2 replies
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