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Do you know of any research that goes into this?

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How do you become harder on yourself? How can you turn your mind against your own weaknesses? How do you reforge yourself into someone with zero tolerance for bullshitting themselves? How do you become angrier at your own faults? I would love to know.

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I don’t know of any such research but just to clarify: you are naturally very forgiving of yourself and you want to change that default mode?

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Yes, that's exactly right.

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Hmm, so I don’t know research per se, but I wonder if it might be more fruitful to dig into biography of coaches? Good coaches tend to be tough but fair. I tend to simulate my judo coach in my head whenever I want a kick in the ass.

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Although in my case I do that because my self talk is too hard and harsh; I’m simulating to tone it down and be fairer. Whereas you might need to come from the other end! Also, I know this is nuts but … have you tried reading David Goggins? /ducks

1:07 PM · Jul 21, 2022Twitter Web App

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Ha, I'm trying to simulate Jocko and Mark Twight. And I've read Goggins! The problem with Goggins for me is that is story is too dramatic to be relatable. Like my life is pretty good, I'm not in a "back against the wall" situation where I have to turn my life around or ~die.

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1/2 Agree about Goggins. That said, his story served to help him build certain tools (for example, the accountability mirror) which are quite powerful (and require little to no external motivation, i.e., "back against the wall"). Two questions:

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Quick question on the self-talk: do you self-talk in first person or second person when you're being hard/harsh?

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Second person, exactly like my competitive Judo coach might.