seems like maybe my subjective self is a kind of backward-discounted sum of past states and lots of those states couldn't do multiplication
sometimes I'm doing technical work and I get slammed with a sense of surrealness not impostor syndrome exactly, but rather \
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"we'll pay you like ten thousands of times your 5yo state's allowance to run a Science team" and you may ask yourself how did I get here?
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sort of like in movies, say Last Crusade, with the cut from Young Jones getting the hat to Adult Jones getting punched in the face on a boat
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life comes at you fast I guess
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how boring would it be though if it were too predictable or slow?
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oh I'm not complaining! it's good I think? maybe? idk I've been really morbid about ageing since I read IT when I was twelve
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Yeah I guess it could go any way! I dunno, I've been jonesing for adulthood since I was like 8 tho. What is IT?
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https://www.amazon.com/Novel-Stephen-King/dp/1501142976 … plot has kids fighting evil thing at cusp of adolescence, forgetting it all, coming back in 40s to repeat
End of conversation
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