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eigenrobot's profile
eigenrobot
eigenrobot
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@eigenrobot

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eigenrobot

@eigenrobot

robot. friend.

eigenrobot.substack.com
Joined July 2013

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    1. bosco‏ @selentelechia Aug 24

      anyways my Very Hungry Child still has a vice grip on my nipples but I'm also at my mom's for a few days bc 2 weeks of 5-or-less hours of sleep gave me a spooky panic attack so I'm here to have a daytime caregiver and catch up on sleep via Napping

      2 replies 0 retweets 44 likes
      Show this thread
    2. bosco‏ @selentelechia Aug 24

      grandparents are so good at babies

      1 reply 0 retweets 47 likes
      Show this thread
    3. bosco‏ @selentelechia Aug 24

      also did you know that if you are mentally like "everything is fine" for several weeks when everything is Not Fine, your body may decide to inform you of this via hives and then if you are like "hives are fine, I'm fine," you may end up hyperventilating on a drive to the store

      1 reply 0 retweets 47 likes
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    4. bosco‏ @selentelechia Aug 24

      and also that if you hyperventilate hard enough your HANDS AND FEET MIGHT CURL UP TO THE POINT WHERE YOU CAN'T OPERATE A CELL PHONE AND HAVE TO YELP FOR STRANGERS IN THE PARKING LOT OF A QFC (they were extremely nice and I am kicking myself for not getting their names)

      1 reply 0 retweets 42 likes
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    5. bosco‏ @selentelechia Aug 24

      I'm tweeting about this bc I'm embarrassed and I don't want to talk about it but apparently "not wanting to talk about it" means that 2 weeks later I get to explain my history with anxiety to a 911 operator while a nice man plays peek-a-boo with my kid

      1 reply 0 retweets 43 likes
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    6. bosco‏ @selentelechia Aug 24

      apparently I can't just decide that a current train of thought is insane and simply decide to stop thinking those thoughts anyways I'm fine but I honestly expected this sort of thing in the first few months, not NOW

      1 reply 0 retweets 34 likes
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    7. bosco‏ @selentelechia Aug 24

      my mom has gifted me a massage which I will indulge in tomorrow before going home on Wednesday do you want to know what my brain thinks of that??? do you??? "man eigen sure misses me, better feel guilty about getting a massage" what the fuck!!!

      2 replies 0 retweets 43 likes
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    8. bosco‏ @selentelechia Aug 24

      the tweeting is a good sign, you see, bc I can be affectionately exasperated with this state of affairs now instead of feeling like it means I deserve Zero Friends anyways baby has released my nipple and now I'm going back to bed

      1 reply 0 retweets 36 likes
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    9. bosco‏ @selentelechia Aug 24

      tomorrow I will use my mother's childcare expertise to its fullest extent and take Several Naps with earplugs

      1 reply 0 retweets 41 likes
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    10. bosco‏ @selentelechia Aug 24

      good night, twitter having a baby is still the best thing I've ever done but man it's hard in ways I could not possibly have predicted! this is, in itself, an extremely cool thing to experience I still want a few more but wow humans making more humans wild shit

      12 replies 4 retweets 110 likes
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      eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot Aug 24
      Replying to @selentelechia

      gooooooooooo to bed!!!

      2:29 AM - 24 Aug 2021
      • 23 Likes
      • Vivid Void Pirkka-Joose Sempé 27 5'3'' enzika vector (wagmi) His Honor Pazooki, Le Bweep of USA father of the year SQUIRREL OF G_D absurdistfool Dedicating Ruckus
      0 replies 0 retweets 23 likes

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