this is in fact completely unchristian and sort of a weird development as at Canossa, an act of such abasement /imposes a tacit obligation to forgive/, as Gregory VII was forced to do in rescinding Henry IV's excommunication
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There was a study into public apologies (Somehow related to cancel culture? It was recent.) that found people who apologized were perceived worse and faced more consequences than those who didn't. Can't find it, greatly appreciate if somebody will share it, want to check it out
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I think the issue is more practical than the apology-abuse-as-social-construct that you're making it out to be We stopped teaching logic and rhetoric, so no one knows how to be wrong. If right and wrong are instead subjective constructs, then being wrong is character failure
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And no one wants that kind of responsibility attached to even minor transgressions, so they dodge it at every opportunity. And then society doubled down on this with thinly-veiled Marxist "everything is political" ideology
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One thing I found important is the act of apologizing is something I primarily do for myself, even in private (confession) or to clarify that I no longer claim this past choice under my "self." Alleviating harm done including public apology is a penance.
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We hurt many people and we are often hurt. Sometimes the hurt creates a connection and both of us change. There is an agreement, an understanding, a regime. Sometimes one party is ignored. This is the common case. We trample on lots of stuff in the garden, but not all of us hear.
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