working on a theory re: apologies and such specifically I get the sense that people have come to misunderstand apologies. I don't entirely understand them myself but I want to spitball
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the failure mode seems to be interpreting apologies as being necessarily massive acts of self abnegation if someone apologizes to another this is necessarily a matter of groveling. every time its the Humiliation of Canossa there are a stack of failure modes here lets enumerate
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A) one common failure mode is interpreting an apology to oneself as necessarily an opportunity to condemn another or make outrageous demands of them an apology is an acknowledgement of a lapse and so an opportunity to destroy while one is morally outlawed
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this is in fact completely unchristian and sort of a weird development as at Canossa, an act of such abasement /imposes a tacit obligation to forgive/, as Gregory VII was forced to do in rescinding Henry IV's excommunication
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of course one can still refuse forgiveness but depending on circumstance this can make you look like Kind Of An Unreasonable Dick (complicated) but in any case responding to genuine contrition with violence is ghastly
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but such untoward aggression seems to be a common response to public apologies because they are in fact an admission of guilt which seems bad because
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Replying to @eigenrobot
Part of the problem might be that everyone assumes the public apologies are fake because why wouldn't they be? If the person didn't bring up their old racist tweets to apologize for before someone else found out about them what are the odds that the apology is real?
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I certainly dont remember all hundred fifty thousand (??) of my tweets and im sure there are some I regret
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