working on a theory re: apologies and such specifically I get the sense that people have come to misunderstand apologies. I don't entirely understand them myself but I want to spitball
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C) my suspicion is that maybe the misunderstandings in A and B have led to people being very reluctant to apologize when they are clearly in the wrong because the offended party might use any acknowledgment of trespass as an opportunity to destroy them
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and i don't think this is a fear that is unfounded! it is a pity though because this means no one apologizes they just kind of raise their hackles and say how DARE you imply that I admit fault ever and you get retarded doublings down on being a dick that a simple sorry would fix
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apologies have a lot to do with maintaining social coherence and as noted are a really important ritual im not sure what the direction of causality is between their degradation and social disintegration but it seems salienthttps://twitter.com/Amos_5_18/status/1424992177650864128?s=19 …
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anyway I hope this helps its good practice to think about this as you go about your day on anon twitter and if your inappropriately rude to someone try saying sorry just to take a crack at it and then if theyre a dick about it, you know, just refuse, which is also good practice
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special thanks to the Church for really honing the matter of soteriology to a fine point and passing it to me in my younger days. im grateful for this and hope I have not misrepresented her terms too badly
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last thought in some ways this might make contemporary apologies a flex to the extent that it implies the person your apologizing to is not actually a threat to you not sure what i think of this.https://twitter.com/eigenrobot/status/1424992991760977923?s=19 …
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the opposing party being a dick in a number of different outcomes implies that this is less a social transaction and more a social ritual; this might help understanding.
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just so
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I think the problem here is that you make an unilateral offer of peace. For example, you have to trust that the person you cut doesnt use your apology to keep on going and going, or that the bystanders say something. Your own position is "weakened"
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i think it's strengthened depending on how one plays it but it may partly depend on ones courage
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