university was where problems became apparent because my interests started to branch out beyond school and tests got hard enough that I couldnt always just solve them on the fly. and some material was really dull. sorry biochemists protein folding is boring
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so this is where I started to quit things via DGAF at various stages I have more or less dropped out of biochemistry, economics grad school, and my first job just by inexorable disinterest on full reflection I think this is Good actually
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biology is an objectively terrible career (sorry biologists) academic economics would have made me miserable like my parents were miserable my first job out of grad school was soul killing and dishonest this is not sour grapes, they are good for some people for sure
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the one major downside to all this is that I think I would be much more successful at my current job and hence richer if I were capable of significant executive function my performance reviews usually boil down to "your great on technique but jfc get your shit together"
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im getting better though. the trick seems to be getting good enough at what im doing that I don't actually have to think about it that hard --> move very quickly ---> fewer opportunities to get distracted by more interesting things
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overall I think being hopelessly undisciplined has been a net positive on my life in spite of the occasion drawbacks and that feels immensely fortunate.
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Replying to @eigenrobot
I feel you. I'm getting better at it, but often, having patience with myself is hard. Especially when I want to do a thing that I want to do. A thing that I know is fun. That is going to make me feel good. That is going to make bank. But… just… just can't. sucks.
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Replying to @skore_de @eigenrobot
useless in the later school days - well fine useless in uni - well fine useless at holding down a job - well fine useless with paperwork and drudgery - well fine I can deal with that. useless at doing Good Stuff - well fuck.
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Replying to @skore_de @eigenrobot
sometimes, I feel like fifty rolls of duct tape in a trench coat
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Replying to @skore_de @eigenrobot
I think it makes me good at the things that I really really care about. But maybe I just really really care about the things that I happen to be good at.
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money makes it a lot harder for me. if im being paid the fun just goes away, in most cases
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Replying to @eigenrobot
I lucked out like hell finding a niche where I can combine the two. I seem to have a weird thing for optimizing parts of that job and my brain, at some point, seems to have decided "oh lol, bank maxing the hell out of this fun"
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