had a good day at work reflecting now on what my life would have been like if I had ever possessed any self-discipline some things would have been easier for me but i would have missed out on a lot
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biology is an objectively terrible career (sorry biologists) academic economics would have made me miserable like my parents were miserable my first job out of grad school was soul killing and dishonest this is not sour grapes, they are good for some people for sure
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the one major downside to all this is that I think I would be much more successful at my current job and hence richer if I were capable of significant executive function my performance reviews usually boil down to "your great on technique but jfc get your shit together"
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im getting better though. the trick seems to be getting good enough at what im doing that I don't actually have to think about it that hard --> move very quickly ---> fewer opportunities to get distracted by more interesting things
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overall I think being hopelessly undisciplined has been a net positive on my life in spite of the occasion drawbacks and that feels immensely fortunate.
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Profoundly relatable and reassuring thread!
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A year in, I admit I’m bored out of my mind by my job. Part of me is trying to stay diligent while I start the job search, saying “why complicate this?” Another part is malingering, trying to box me in to have to quit before I’m fired. You’re encouraging that part.
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Ohgod this is too relatable.
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Right down to Econ grad school.
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