good thread from elle a long time ago i was in a really bad relationship that was both physically and emotionally abusive the physical abuse was basically risible to me and didnt even register. the other stuff messed me up a bit (im basically fine now) what i think is,https://twitter.com/ellegist/status/1402028775785779206 …
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theres not really any good way of handling bad actors and utility monsters in a trauma framework its a matter of imperfect information. if someone demands special treatment because they were traumatized another party basically has no way of knowing whether this is true
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and even if it is true, how "reasonable" in a sense that trauma is
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so theres a certain amount of consideration you have to give to the costs of accommodating any persons claimed trauma and also consideration of how likely it is that this trauma is genuine at all
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"all trauma is fake and dumb" is not true although i respect people who dont want to pay accommodation costs "believe all people claiming trauma and accommodate them maximally" is turning yourself into a doormat and enabling sociopaths
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generally i think we probably overaccommodate trauma now, vs probably underaccommodating it say thirty years ago iraq II may have been the turning point. a lot of people were coming back with diagnosed PTSD from eg seeing their friends killed or maimed by IEDs
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Replying to @eigenrobot
Avid Halaby Retweeted Avid Halaby
On this point, we should recognize that the majority of people who go through traumatic experiences end up fine. We've memed ourselves into thinking that being traumatized is the natural response to terrible events, when in fact people are very resilient.https://twitter.com/AvidHalaby/status/1388963214470352896 …
Avid Halaby added,
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Replying to @AvidHalaby @eigenrobot
This isn't to say some people don't experience long-term psychological effects from traumatic events, but like you say we should revise our priors down.
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yeah agree. I still have my moments but it's irrelevant 99.99% of the time
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