musing on this men in particular seem to believe that the worst thing that can happen to you, or the worst part of violence/coercion, is the physical damage this is so obviously wrong it actually becomes hard to explain https://twitter.com/deepfates/status/1401940594004463621 …
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wrote something private about this a long time ago, in complete exhaustion from trying to explain to men that the physical damage barely registered except as an outward signifier, a fragment of validation, that something awful had been done
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ah I found it but it’s too personal to share The problem is that the physical violence is the least “traumatic” component of all, but bc most men have no analogous experience, saying that “the pain was bearable by comparison” is, to them, the same as saying “it wasn’t that bad.”
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Replying to @ellegist
i get this i was in a physically abusive relationship but the attempts to harm my physically never actually registered as anything but risible
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oh im ok it was a long time ago. but also thank you :)
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