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eigenrobot's profile
eigenrobot
eigenrobot
eigenrobot
@eigenrobot

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eigenrobot

@eigenrobot

robot. friend.

eigenrobot.substack.com
Joined July 2013

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    1. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot May 1

      scenario a rogue robot scrapes commercial sex postings using forged headers, committing several dozen billion discrete violations of the CFAA and becoming the worlds first Gigafelon a prosecutor reads him tweeting about his crimes and decides to take him out 23B charges filed

      10 replies 3 retweets 121 likes
      Show this thread
    2. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot May 1

      the justice system starts to melt down as it is overwhelmed by tens of millions of cases filed each day, which must be dealt with in sequential order an emergency supreme court ruling affirms the use of scripts to process and adjudicate cases automatically

      2 replies 0 retweets 64 likes
      Show this thread
    3. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot May 1

      eigenrobot Retweeted

      https://twitter.com/InNeedOfPurpose/status/1388730709527891969?s=19 …

      eigenrobot added,

      This Tweet is unavailable.
      1 reply 1 retweet 43 likes
      Show this thread
      eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot May 1

      the robot is found guilty on all charges and being transported back to the mesozoic so that he can serve his entire sentence before the heat death of the universe the prosecutor becomes attorney general, with the highest win rate of any attorney in history

      10:47 PM - 1 May 2021
      • 2 Retweets
      • 75 Likes
      • to simp a butterfree Mellow Rush ifrit zen random_scrub waterpapi bronze age anon Miss Holocaust survivor DCoderLT
      4 replies 2 retweets 75 likes
        1. New conversation
        2. Edward W.‏ @edwardW2 May 1
          Replying to @eigenrobot

          @gifford_head ; @JusticeTyrwhit @DanHLawReporter we hope you find this amusing....

          1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
        3. Edward W.‏ @edwardW2 May 3
          Replying to @edwardW2 @eigenrobot and

          Edward W. Retweeted The Secret Barrister

          A (near) real-life example of this-- Life truly imitates art...https://twitter.com/BarristerSecret/status/1389119752061296644 …

          Edward W. added,

          The Secret Barrister @BarristerSecret
          And on the second day you will start to pay the first of 150,000 court orders for wasted costs. https://twitter.com/BeckettUnite/status/1388952694908391434 …
          0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        4. End of conversation
        1. New conversation
        2. A_Suburbian‏ @ASuburbian May 1
          Replying to @eigenrobot

          NO! This attorney is known as the WORST attorney in history for not exercising his prosecutorial discretion to let this one go, as the 23B charges and 20 year long trial ensured every other criminal charged during that time was released for violations of their speed trial rights.

          2 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
        3. A_Suburbian‏ @ASuburbian May 1
          Replying to @ASuburbian @eigenrobot

          *speedy

          0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        4. End of conversation
        1.  🇻🇦 My Sisters Brother‏ @StuffForSisters May 1
          Replying to @eigenrobot

          Don't do the crime if you can't do the time.* *--According to current technology and/or metaphysical constraints.

          0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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        1. Samuel‏ @forestscotsman May 2
          Replying to @eigenrobot

          Plot twist The robot actually has all convictions overturned on appeal—the reason? all charges violated the doctrine of Void for Vagueness. Guess it pays to be careful, bandit-legislatures. What of the robot, you ask? Heha. Well let’s just say the Mesozoic ain’t all that bad ;)

          0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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