i found the tweet! https://twitter.com/OfMatriarch/status/1208191657230782465?s=20 …
-
This Tweet is unavailable.Show this thread
-
just remembered that an ex once told me she felt like i was being selfish in bed when literally the only thing i was trying to do when we messed around was get her off and i was like ???????????????????????????????????
6 replies 0 retweets 46 likesShow this thread -
i've never had a pleasurable sexual experience involving my penis with a partner even once, and until pretty recently that hasn't even felt like a thing i was allowed to want, partly because of experiences like this
3 replies 0 retweets 45 likesShow this thread -
btw in case it helps, two other big problems i have that i grew up hearing only about women having
issues with consent, e.g. saying yes to sexual stuff before you're ready
sexual trauma, for lack of a better word, e.g. being too scared and anxious around sex to be horny2 replies 1 retweet 50 likesShow this thread -
those are related, naturally. i was blocked on even considering those possibilities for a long time by the cultural construction of men as sexually ravenous (which never resonated with me either). that's just not how i was. if anything i constantly repressed myself sexually
2 replies 1 retweet 41 likesShow this thread -
2 replies 1 retweet 39 likesShow this thread -
QC Retweeted Elodes of the Morning Sun
QC added,
Elodes of the Morning Sun @ElodesNLIf you're a nerdy guy and you feel guilty about flirting because some online feminists have been shitty to people like you, I've got a few tweets, threads, and posts that might help some. It's been a long journey for me and I'd love to help my fellow men.
RESOURCE THREAD
Show this thread2 replies 0 retweets 33 likesShow this thread -
holy crap i've gotten a lot of DMs about this thread, it is truly crazy how many people relate but don't feel comfortable talking about it publicly
7 replies 0 retweets 41 likesShow this thread -
"a lot" could mean very different things to different people so i counted. 17 DMs, mostly men but also some trans / queer women tbc i appreciate this a lot, DMs are really good, it really helps me get a better sense of how much of a thing this is for people other than me
1 reply 0 retweets 34 likesShow this thread -
Replying to @QiaochuYuan
ok so replying to this here. this sucks and im sorry dude. and I have gotten feedback about this from female partners in the past. i dont know how to convey the mindset that is a way around it but i think the big thing is to just be really present. vibing. in the following sense
1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes
actively worrying about what you are doing during sex is totally inimical to this. theres really no situation where vibe is more shared and apparent than during sex and if you go in stressed its just gonna suck most likely, for everyone
-
-
Replying to @eigenrobot @QiaochuYuan
i do not think this is unusual for men either. the information I have received is that in fact men worry a Lot and pretty generally
1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes -
Replying to @eigenrobot @QiaochuYuan
i dont exactly know how to explain how to not worry and just focus on enjoying things but I think its the ideal end state. probably being Aware is a start, also finding a partner who is chill and open to helping you feel relaxed
2 replies 0 retweets 7 likes - Show replies
New conversation -
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.