ok it turns out the set of things that will cause our daughter to cry incessantly includes "sleeping anywhere that is not directly on top of her mother" I have constructed an ingenious system to keep them both safe and secure in this arrangement but will be keeping watch anyway
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(thanks so much Thotton!)
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happy to help!
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I totally did not see this or forgot about it or something anyways we didn't try it and now i fear she's too smart for it
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