i've been really confused about what "low self-esteem" and "low confidence" are for awhile and dr really clarifies what that actually means in the 00:51:30 segment here: https://youtu.be/2cocDtxotBE 1/
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all through high school i remember thinking "i don't have low self-esteem, i'm actually pretty egotistical-- i just expect other people to dislike me" 2/
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and then at some point in my 20s, after being diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, i decided that i must've been mistaken, whatever this "fear of how other people will treat me based on their perceptions" thing is must just be what people mean by "low self-esteem" 3/
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but if low confidence is the way dr k describes it -- "your ideas are dumb and you should shut up" rather than "i think i have some good ideas but i'm worried other people won't agree" -- then... i don't think i've ever experienced that 4/
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so what's the other thing? dr k says: intrusive thoughts and i think what he's suggesting is that these thoughts, and this self-doubt are basically pattern-matching to past shitty experiences 5/
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i don't have a ton of memories that could relate to this, but the narrative i've built up boils down to "people are inscrutable; you'll just keep doing things that upset them but they won't tell you, they'll either punish you or they'll leave and all you can do is guess" 6/
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makes a helluvalot more sense now that i've got the autism diagnosis high confidence but low trust? bad pattern-matching? easier to solve it i think now that i don't need to chase this red herring 7/
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Replying to @goblinodds
we could talk about this on podcast if you like hmm
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really I would be happy to talk about anything this just seemed pretty immediately salient and i bet a lot of people might identify with it
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Replying to @eigenrobot
i always totally freeze up when i think about conversation topics, so this sounds good
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