follow up question further specifying that i had in mind deontological polyamorists who insist that non poly relationships are necessarily bad in some sense, as perhaps there are many deontologieshttps://twitter.com/eigenrobot/status/1344005676075388930 …
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appending "except when it would be weird" to each of my moral principles
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If a couple intends to have children, long term involvement of the father, with both the child and mother, become so important to outcomes... That it should be the primary factor in choosing sexual partners, imho. I think polyamory is mostly for antinatalists or commies

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Both of which are fine, as long as everyone consents, imho
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i think there's an argument that can be framed "I cant morally consent on behalf of my far future self"
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One of the things I like about poly is that it raises your parental bus factor to above two, so I see it as pro-natalist. Of course, I also left the SF bay area, in part because of my utter disgust at how things were being done there, poly among them.
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So maybe I'm the outlier here.
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All sorts of roads lead to antinatalism tbh, it's the crab of population ethics
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Either you bite the "creating lives can be *good*, not just neutral" bullet, or you reject consequentialism, or you're (probably) an antinatalist, whether you realise it or not
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