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@eigenrobot

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eigenrobot

@eigenrobot

robot. friend.

eigenrobot.substack.com
Joined July 2013

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    1. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 11 Dec 2020

      jesus chinese drug czar gets pissed at the smugglers and decides to send a message by executing a chinese drug smuggler in front of the British quarter this sparks in a riot, british are besieged until rescued by chinese police

      2 replies 0 retweets 31 likes
      Show this thread
    2. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 11 Dec 2020

      the british and chinese governments are both against the drug trade the extremely rich anglo smugglers have a goodbye dinner for a guy who's retiring. the guy gives a speech about how the governments are the real smugglers, man

      1 reply 0 retweets 38 likes
      Show this thread
    3. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 12 Dec 2020

      chinese get fed up with intransigence and literally brick up the british in their housing british trade representative loses it decides to offer to BUY THE DRUGS from the smugglers and give them to the chinese its unclear whether he has the power to make this purchase

      1 reply 0 retweets 26 likes
      Show this thread
    4. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 12 Dec 2020

      turns out he does not have this authority uh oh

      1 reply 0 retweets 24 likes
      Show this thread
    5. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 12 Dec 2020

      queen victoria briefly becomes the largest opium owner in the world

      1 reply 2 retweets 44 likes
      Show this thread
    6. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 12 Dec 2020

      loooool the smugglers knew he didnt have authority to make the purchase but they signed it away anyway expecting to be able to sue the government into doing it anyway

      1 reply 1 retweet 24 likes
      Show this thread
    7. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 12 Dec 2020

      british trade rep has absolutely Cracked after exceeding his authority but basically resolving the crisis with the opium purchase, he writes an insane letter to the foreign office asking them to Destroy China

      4 replies 0 retweets 26 likes
      Show this thread
    8. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 12 Dec 2020

      british government gets the letter and sees how much the trade rep promised to pay for, apprently it is absolutely breathtaking they decide it would be cheaper to just go to war

      2 replies 0 retweets 40 likes
      Show this thread
    9. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 12 Dec 2020

      lol british in canton start firing at war junks months before parliament even meets to discuss it this shortly after the drug czar gets permission to kill everyone involved in opium and cuts off water to the english things are escalating quickly

      1 reply 0 retweets 31 likes
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    10. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 12 Dec 2020

      british SJWs opposing the war lionize the drug czar as a symbol of Progress, activists go on at length about how china is really powerful and the british would be fools to fight such a mighty enemy

      2 replies 0 retweets 24 likes
      Show this thread
      eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 12 Dec 2020

      britains parliament drudges up its resident China Expert, everyone expects him to speak against war, he just yeets out and says "naw fuck them chinese" hes mad about the threats of executing smugglers

      1:29 AM - 12 Dec 2020
      • 34 Likes
      • Arthur Niculitcheff #8 Planetary Defense braintree Michael Allen Moore Sirsfurther Dedicating Ruckus Chad, Yuengling Enthusiast. BEAST
      2 replies 0 retweets 34 likes
        1. New conversation
        2. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 12 Dec 2020

          what an incredibly stupid mess the six month round trip for messages probably made this possible

          3 replies 0 retweets 37 likes
          Show this thread
        3. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 12 Dec 2020

          eigenrobot Retweeted acid shill

          https://twitter.com/acidshill/status/1337786443649847297?s=19 …

          eigenrobot added,

          acid shill @acidshill
          Replying to @eigenrobot
          this whole story sounds like some dumb shit you’d do in dnd like these aren’t even real people making real decisions
          2 replies 0 retweets 29 likes
          Show this thread
        4. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 12 Dec 2020

          there was an initial attempt at a peace treaty by chinese and british representatives, neither of whom really wanted a war it was FURIOUSLY rejected by both emperor of china and lord palmerston, british foreign secretary, both of whom saw it as too weak for their side sigh

          2 replies 0 retweets 18 likes
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        5. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 12 Dec 2020

          chinese emperor did not think it was worth a major effort to fight the war and didnt do any large-scale mobilization what on earth was he thinking

          2 replies 0 retweets 19 likes
          Show this thread
        6. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 12 Dec 2020

          british just absolutely ruin the coasts the war is depressing, demoralizing to the royal navy sailors who mostly find it pathetic and sad to blow up defenseless chinese coastal cities

          2 replies 0 retweets 25 likes
          Show this thread
        7. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 12 Dec 2020

          eventually the war is won after the whigs are driven from power and the exasperated conservative ministry orders the royal navy to sail up the yangtze and threaten to bombard Nanjing, at which point the Qing capitulate everyone is depressed, mortified about the entire affair

          5 replies 1 retweet 24 likes
          Show this thread
        8. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 12 Dec 2020

          hilariously and i imagine this is often missed, the war was not fought to make sure they could keep selling china opium they didnt even really expect the trade to survive the smugglers certainly didnt want it legalized in china would cut into their comparative advantage

          3 replies 0 retweets 25 likes
          Show this thread
        9. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 12 Dec 2020

          meanwhile in the united states the sjws were comparing opium to slavery, while the south was pointing to opium to demonstrate that in comparison slavery wasnt bad at all

          2 replies 0 retweets 17 likes
          Show this thread
        10. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 12 Dec 2020

          everyone agreed that england sucked though

          2 replies 2 retweets 26 likes
          Show this thread
        11. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 12 Dec 2020

          also we completely ate britains trade during the opium war and everyone in china was pissed at them about blowing up their country so the US advantage continued after as a consequence we won without lifting a finger

          8 replies 0 retweets 23 likes
          Show this thread
        12. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 12 Dec 2020

          afterward we won favorable terms just by bringing some military technology which they had become more interested in but i wonder if chinas weakness was due to not having a civilizational concept of a "technology level" (is this possible?)

          3 replies 0 retweets 14 likes
          Show this thread
        13. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 12 Dec 2020

          like maybe if you spend a lot of time with consistent technology maybe you don't really consider that other things are not just "different" but "qualitatively superior" i have no idea whether this is true

          3 replies 0 retweets 14 likes
          Show this thread
        14. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 12 Dec 2020

          apparently the western contemporary conception of the opium war as the west just forcing opium down chinas through was an early 20C chinese nationalist propaganda effort chinese writers didnt associate it with opium until 1910

          2 replies 1 retweet 19 likes
          Show this thread
        15. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 12 Dec 2020

          eigenrobot Retweeted Passacagliostro

          this was actually the first case of china using western media as propaganda outlets (I do not say this critically) the drug czar was complaining to victoria about her unwillingness to help in the chinese drug warhttps://twitter.com/passacagliostro/status/1337962320555859970 …

          eigenrobot added,

          Passacagliostro @passacagliostro
          Replying to @eigenrobot
          https://sourcebooks.fordham.edu/mod/1839lin2.asp …
          1 reply 0 retweets 12 likes
          Show this thread
        16. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 12 Dec 2020

          anyway hell of a book in the end, the layering on of a Message is working to its detriment went from liminal to superliminal at times but the history is masterfully done

          1 reply 0 retweets 11 likes
          Show this thread
        17. End of conversation

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