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eigenrobot's profile
eigenrobot
eigenrobot
eigenrobot
@eigenrobot

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eigenrobot

@eigenrobot

robot. friend.

eigenrobot.substack.com
Joined July 2013

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    1. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 12 Nov 2020

      do you imagine God has what humans might understand as a sense of humor

      60 replies 4 retweets 46 likes
    2. i dont know‏ @_ReallyNotReal 12 Nov 2020
      Replying to @eigenrobot

      Long story but important for the punchline. I was living together with a friend and his wife while we were starting a business. His wife wasn't very good about cleaning up after herself but I remember one thing in particular she'd do that always irked me - she would cut lemons

      1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
    3. i dont know‏ @_ReallyNotReal 12 Nov 2020
      Replying to @_ReallyNotReal @eigenrobot

      for her water and just leave them there, both used and unused which would attract pests. Fast forward to the start of this year - we had problems with our supplier and could no longer get the product we were selling so we decided to stop operating the business pending a lawsuit.

      1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
    4. i dont know‏ @_ReallyNotReal 12 Nov 2020
      Replying to @_ReallyNotReal @eigenrobot

      Around the same time all the covid-19 panicking was getting started. I reckon this all caused her to panic because we told her we figured the economy for luxury goods (what our other business was going to sell) was going to tank for a little while and she was always kind of a

      1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
    5. i dont know‏ @_ReallyNotReal 12 Nov 2020
      Replying to @_ReallyNotReal @eigenrobot

      gold digger. She started finding excuses to start fights, stuff like "we don't go on enough ski trips" and "every time we go to Europe you're also working". Unfortunately she eventually got physical at which point my friend asked me to get involved - police were called, she'd

      1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
    6. i dont know‏ @_ReallyNotReal 12 Nov 2020
      Replying to @_ReallyNotReal @eigenrobot

      show up at the house randomly to terrorize whoever was there. Because of that friend decided he wanted to get a restraining order. At that point the worst of the drama was over but I was feeling like shit so I was scrolling through old likes on Tumblr and listening to some

      1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
    7. i dont know‏ @_ReallyNotReal 12 Nov 2020
      Replying to @_ReallyNotReal @eigenrobot

      My Chemical Romance letting myself be a kid for a little bit. So here's the kicker: you remember the lemons I told you about? Well I came across a meme that was a restraining order keeping Lemon Demon fans away from the aux chord. This got a laugh from me thinking yeah, he did

      1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
    8. i dont know‏ @_ReallyNotReal 12 Nov 2020
      Replying to @_ReallyNotReal @eigenrobot

      just get a restraining order against a lemon demon. At the same time, the final verse of the song Dead! was playing where the vocalist repeats "if life ain't just a joke then why are we laughing" which threw me into a full fit of laughter. A bit morbid but it qualifies imo.

      1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 12 Nov 2020
      Replying to @_ReallyNotReal

      incredible synchronicity 😍

      3:44 PM - 12 Nov 2020
      • 3 Likes
      • 🦇 sir(?) festive lawn carrot 🦇 Costa i dont know
      1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
        1. i dont know‏ @_ReallyNotReal 12 Nov 2020
          Replying to @eigenrobot

          Among my most potent experiences with synchronicity and definitely the funniest

          0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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