Twitter feature request: a react where the person being complimented gets to indicate whether it was cool with them or not, with an optional comment explaining why. The tweet will glow red or green accordingly, and everyone can add a datapoint to their understanding.https://twitter.com/GeniesLoki/status/1309385789218881536 …
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People are uncertain about what compliments are appropriate. Combo of: not knowing the basics, preferences differing and lacking the skill of knowing when and how to do it well. My idea helps people build skill by observing successes and failures, while allowing people to differ
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Really important: in all cases, react to a mistake with grace. You have learned you didn't read the situation right. That doesn't necessarily mean you've done anything terrible, but it means you didn't get this one right.
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For what it's worth, my take is online compliments are definitely at lower risk of causing harm, but also lower benefit for both of you. Not a terrible place to practice (once you have the basics and are being thoughtful and considerate), but you could also start with friends.
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The basics of compliments on appearance: - err on side of only when solicited - things people chose > things they didn't - it will likely be taken differently from women than men
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- no sexual comments unless you know them or have built a rapport
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All of this assumes you give a shit about the experience of the person you're complimenting. If you don't, fuck you and I don't have advice for you.
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To add on to the risk: you can build rapport with an online person before sending random compliments! This is what good reply game is about. DM and become Twitter friends.
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Replying to @ChanaMessinger
eigenrobot Retweeted eigenrobot
hmm this feels different than how i understand compliments (??) curious about what you make of thishttps://twitter.com/eigenrobot/status/1186471007546011650?s=19 …
eigenrobot added,
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I wonder if the issue is that complimenting a thing makes it common knowledge that you were paying attention to that thing and there are important rules about what things a person may pay attention to
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