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eigenrobot's profile
eigenrobot
eigenrobot
eigenrobot
@eigenrobot

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eigenrobot

@eigenrobot

robot. friend.

eigenrobot.substack.com
Joined July 2013

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    1. Chana‏ @ChanaMessinger 3 Oct 2020

      Chana Retweeted GeniesLoki

      Twitter feature request: a react where the person being complimented gets to indicate whether it was cool with them or not, with an optional comment explaining why. The tweet will glow red or green accordingly, and everyone can add a datapoint to their understanding.https://twitter.com/GeniesLoki/status/1309385789218881536 …

      Chana added,

      GeniesLoki @GeniesLoki
      Replying to @ThinkingBone
      I feel like it treads the line and is the sort of thing where competent performance is pleasing and incompetent performance is creepy, but it's hard to learn competent performance without trying. Maybe adding "There's no need to reply to this, I just wanted you to know!" helps?
      1 reply 0 retweets 9 likes
      Show this thread
    2. Chana‏ @ChanaMessinger 3 Oct 2020

      People are uncertain about what compliments are appropriate. Combo of: not knowing the basics, preferences differing and lacking the skill of knowing when and how to do it well. My idea helps people build skill by observing successes and failures, while allowing people to differ

      1 reply 0 retweets 8 likes
      Show this thread
    3. Chana‏ @ChanaMessinger 3 Oct 2020

      Really important: in all cases, react to a mistake with grace. You have learned you didn't read the situation right. That doesn't necessarily mean you've done anything terrible, but it means you didn't get this one right.

      1 reply 0 retweets 11 likes
      Show this thread
    4. Chana‏ @ChanaMessinger 3 Oct 2020

      For what it's worth, my take is online compliments are definitely at lower risk of causing harm, but also lower benefit for both of you. Not a terrible place to practice (once you have the basics and are being thoughtful and considerate), but you could also start with friends.

      1 reply 0 retweets 7 likes
      Show this thread
    5. Chana‏ @ChanaMessinger 3 Oct 2020

      The basics of compliments on appearance: - err on side of only when solicited - things people chose > things they didn't - it will likely be taken differently from women than men

      2 replies 0 retweets 14 likes
      Show this thread
    6. Chana‏ @ChanaMessinger 3 Oct 2020

      - no sexual comments unless you know them or have built a rapport

      1 reply 0 retweets 8 likes
      Show this thread
    7. Chana‏ @ChanaMessinger 3 Oct 2020

      All of this assumes you give a shit about the experience of the person you're complimenting. If you don't, fuck you and I don't have advice for you.

      3 replies 0 retweets 11 likes
      Show this thread
    8. Chana‏ @ChanaMessinger 3 Oct 2020

      To add on to the risk: you can build rapport with an online person before sending random compliments! This is what good reply game is about. DM and become Twitter friends.

      2 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
      Show this thread
      eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 3 Oct 2020
      Replying to @ChanaMessinger

      eigenrobot Retweeted eigenrobot

      hmm this feels different than how i understand compliments (??) curious about what you make of thishttps://twitter.com/eigenrobot/status/1186471007546011650?s=19 …

      eigenrobot added,

      eigenrobot @eigenrobot
      eigenrobots theory and practice of complimenting people!!!! a thread, inspired by a lovely metacompliment
      Show this thread
      7:36 AM - 3 Oct 2020
      • 1 Like
      • thinkagainer
      2 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        1. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 3 Oct 2020
          Replying to @eigenrobot @ChanaMessinger

          I wonder if the issue is that complimenting a thing makes it common knowledge that you were paying attention to that thing and there are important rules about what things a person may pay attention to

          0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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        2. Chana‏ @ChanaMessinger 3 Oct 2020
          Replying to @eigenrobot

          I agree with you! Seems really similar to the post that @DRMacIver linked. Where do you see a disagreement?

          1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
        3. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 3 Oct 2020
          Replying to @ChanaMessinger @DRMacIver

          I think the notion of complimenting being a situation where someone was likely to be harmed or offended was a bit strange to me--i don't think I've had that experience in my life either as complimenter or complimented 🤔

          2 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        4. Show replies

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