This thread is interesting to me for a variety of reasons, but in particular it got me thinking of my dad. He "mansplains" more than any other person I've ever met and it used to bother me a LOT. https://twitter.com/PereGrimmer/status/1311354601535418374 …
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He's very condescending while explaining things to anyone, regardless of gender and then gets extremely confused when they get upset about it. And his expression of confusion is somehow even more irritating than the original problem. You think he HAS to know why you're mad.
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My dad has a personality disorder. Most men do not, so I know not to extrapolate his problems to men as a whole. But I think my solution to this problem CAN be. I accepted that he really didn't know why people were upset. I changed my reaction to him.
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I started participating when he explained things, rather than getting upset he assumed I didn't know about the subject.
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His goal was not to insult me. His goal was to explain the concept. So me showing that I understood it meant his goal was achieved and he was happy. He was just trying to teach me something he knew.
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Stop assuming people want to insult you. Stop assuming awkwardness is purposeful rudeness. A "mansplainer" might not be trying to show off how smart he is, he's just telling you something he wants you to know. Demonstrate that you do (without attacking him) and that's that.
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If he actually states something like "well you're a WOMAN, of course you can't do math," then go ahead and get offended, I guess, but don't just assume that's what he meant.
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Replying to @eigenrobot
That's it exactly. It's kind of funny to me that my dad's blunt, more information-focused way of communicating wore off on me even as it hurt my feelings. I'm not as abrasive as he is, but boy, do I do poorly at social manuvering.
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