1/Waking up, I remembered I'd sent this barrage of tweets. I immediately felt very naked. I began thinking about whether I should delete them. Looking at my phone, I was shocked to see how it really struck a chord with peoplehttps://twitter.com/BecomingCritter/status/1310068605850136576 …
-
Show this thread
-
2/ At the time it was just a stream-of-consciousness rant that I sent off while half asleep. Part of me was seeking to be understood and accepted. But exposing myself, being vulnerable, it's scary I can't overstate how grateful I am for all your encouragement and love
1 reply 0 retweets 44 likesShow this thread -
3/ There is a reason I haven't talked about it until now I think the reason it touched people is also the same reason I had been avoiding the subject, and it also helps me understand the arc of the story I shared
1 reply 0 retweets 37 likesShow this thread -
4/ The pithy phrase I use to remind myself of this struggle is "If you do not humble yourself, life will revisit humility upon you" (I think I came up with this but maybe not? idk)
2 replies 2 retweets 57 likesShow this thread -
Critter Retweeted
5/ The reason I didn't want to talk about my work is that I enjoyed the anonymity of speaking to Smart People, identifying with them, and feeling that they accepted me for my thoughts and didn't think of me as Other. https://twitter.com/powerbottomdad1/status/1268583540834344961 …
Critter added,
This Tweet is unavailable.2 replies 1 retweet 50 likesShow this thread -
6/ Of course, it wasn't my mutuals that were ostracizing my real lived experience. I was rejecting myself, thinking that my work makes me an Outsider, an Other. I feel ashamed that I don't 'live up to my potential'. That a 'smart dude' does non-thinking work feels unethical to me
1 reply 1 retweet 46 likesShow this thread -
7/ This is a big part of the deflationary spiral that led to my bottom--where for one New York Winter I walked miles to work at a tiny take-out place I was spiraling because I could not square the image I had of myself with my lived experience. I refused to accept it
1 reply 0 retweets 33 likesShow this thread -
8/ I felt like a failure, I didn't know what to do, and facing this was so painful that I just didn't. I didn't look at my bank account. Unemployed, I didn't apply for jobs. I grasped every distraction, anything that would protect me from the pain of accepting my situation
1 reply 0 retweets 37 likesShow this thread -
9/ Hubris! I couldn't accept my situation then because I thought I was better than all of it. I didn't want to share my situation now because I think 'I'm better than my work, I can hide this part of myself' If you do not humble yourself, life will revisit humility upon you
1 reply 5 retweets 62 likesShow this thread -
10/ The pain of uniting my self-image with my reality is difficult even now. Yet, when I exposed my lived experienced I was shocked to see the outpouring of love from others Perhaps, with time,, we can learn that just maybe others will accept us for who we really are
8 replies 1 retweet 64 likesShow this thread
one of the beautiful things about twitter is that it really doesnt matter who you are in meatspace like--the most universally-derided people here are bluecheck's those men and women who think that Being Someone outside matters even a whit here no: only content and character
-
-
Replying to @eigenrobot
and from that democratic Leveling you can maybe project back some confidence about what really matters in meatspace, too :)
1 reply 0 retweets 10 likes -
Replying to @eigenrobot
There’s definitely Something to chew on here but I am
I’ll revisit this tomorrow with some thoughts, goodnight mr robot1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes - Show replies
New conversation -
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.