I think "respect" is gesturing at something similar to what I'm getting at here In Washington's Social milueau--Social, not social--respect was probably an overriding concernhttps://twitter.com/eigenrobot/status/1308213248232009728?s=19 …
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In private settings, people may not need (on the margin) respect; you can probably take that for granted from your partner, for example (and if not there is a problem). You may instead need comfort, or reassurance, or simple attention
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A good set of exercises for socialing well is simply (i) spending time checking yourself when you speak with another and thinking about what you are looking for from a conversation; (ii) paying attention to what others seem to need from a given interaction;
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(iii) once you get good at (ii), be more deliberate about giving people what they're asking for. In the process you will probably get better at identifying what you are implicitly seeking in a given interaction, and going about finding it ways that make you more likely to get it
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eigenrobot Retweeted eigenrobot
Like just about anything else this trained perception can be used for good or bad ends. Con men and predators tend to be very good at pulling these levers in others (if not seeing themselves) That is no reason not to think about this.https://twitter.com/eigenrobot/status/1186476541124825089?s=19 …
eigenrobot added,
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If you become good at seeing these needs: yes you could selfishly exploit them, but you could also inspire them to to do things they didnt know they could do, or guide them to bravery or kindness It might be easy to fool yourself about your motives, though, so first know thyself
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eigenrobot Retweeted eigenrobot
Meta note: I'm thinking that 90% of gitting good is simply paying attention to things I don't know how to teach paying attention to things except exhorting people to do it Seems important tho I have work more have a good evening and be nice to someonehttps://twitter.com/eigenrobot/status/1294683499962613762?s=19 …
eigenrobot added,
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Replying to @eigenrobot
There is a man called Brian Enos, known as a great master in the world of competitive shooting, who teaches the Tao of the Gun. He recently quoted Yunmen Wenyan: "You must simply pay attention!"
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Replying to @JayGSlater @eigenrobot
(It's good advice generally. I'm not sure if the Tao of the Gun is an unhelpful blending of traditions or unconventional genius, though.)
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Replying to @JayGSlater @eigenrobot
(The Tao of the Gun is my coinage, but what else would you call it when you apply Zen principles to a shooting sport?)
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no this is good I was thinking about this a lot yesterday :)
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Replying to @eigenrobot
Well, his blog's at http://brianenos.com , and although I can't (yet) vouch for whether or not it makes you (me) a better pistol shot, hopefully I'll have positive news to report in next year's competition season.
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