I disagree entirely 
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Replying to @eigenrobot @jack_meditates
I'm not sure how you're interpreting this, but I'm not meaning to necessarily say that someone is totally unaware of how they're affect others (although that can sometimes be the case). /
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I'm more talking about, you need to not be overthinking things in order to come across as genuine. In order to do that, to a certain extent you need to disregard the effect what you're doing will have on others. This is sometimes known as "being yourself"
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Replying to @sullyj3 @jack_meditates
Yeah, I think I've been following you I just don't necessarily see a tension between self-awareness and self-assuredness Hm I remember feeling this tension when I was younger but it's been a long time and I can't quite cram myself back into that headspace to make it legible
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ok here it is maybe imagine the way you feel around a group of friends you know well. you probably find it easy to be yourself, /and/ to act in ways that are unlikely to upset them--probably too in ways that will delight them, or get them onboard with plans, or what have you
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then just figure out how to create a space like that anywhere
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Replying to @eigenrobot @jack_meditates
I think that this is a perfect example. I've noticed myself in the past in these situations maybe like, talking over someone more than I should, or not being careful enough to include the new person or w/e. /
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And I think what's happening is that letting your guard turn involve turning down the "be careful what other people think" dial. I don't think it's necessarily a huge problem that this tension exists, I think you just need to find the right balance for the situation.
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Hopefully that's intelligible hahaha
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