My suspicion is that the correct social model for relationships is something like "everyone is poly in principle but the overwhelming majority of people are monogamous or part of a mostly closed small polycule in practice at any given time."
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There was a... Let's call it discussion... Recently about whether "neither poly nor monogamy are better than the other" is a true statement. I think it's mostly a bad frame that conflates way too much to be answerable.
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Poly is a better system because it allows for much more freedom of movement while trying to figure things out and partial solutions where total solutions are unworkable. Monogamy and monogamy-like things are often closer to the ideal stable individual arrangement though.
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I kinda expect personally to never settle down into a fully monogamous-like relationship, partly because I started too late, partly because I 100% never intend to have kids which removes a major driver, and partly for situational reasons, but most people aren't like me.
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Also just because things have stabilised doesn't mean they stay stable. Even in long term stable relationships things can change in ways that mean flexibility becomes important again.
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But on the other hand poly is often just a lot more work and there are a lot of times in your life where you really want to focus time and energy on other things.
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I don't really have a conclusion I'm building to, I just think pluralism and flexibility are good and putting poly and monogamy in opposition to eachother rather than as points on a spectrum isn't doing either side any favours
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