ok think I have some real answers thanks everyone feel free to continue posting jokes of course 
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original context was where to put emergency / someday house cash assets until I need them maximum time window of say 5yrs, some premium for liquidity
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Are you moving out of stock?
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I came here to say this
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yes, me at least in magnitude ,;:;, possibly not the direction you desire
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Soon USD if you count deflation as interest
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forever stamps
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Putting a lot of faith in the longevity of the postal service here...
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