it can be done artfully!
ask @eigenrobot about the 18k puzzle he surprised me with because I mentioned in passing that I would like one someday :P
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common failure modes: 1. absurd gestures get to be expected by recipient rather than a source of novel joy 2. person making the gesture isn't good at identifying what the recipient wants 3. person making the gesture obviously attaching strings
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i don't know how to advise on (2) apart from pay very close attention to a partner and what they enjoy, pretend not to notice at the time, and then BOOM drop it like it's nbd and act surprised when they treat it as out of the ordinary
End of conversation
New conversation -
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