Aaaaand the playful needling thing is MEANT to be playful but also I think just wears on people over time Idk People who have been my friends for a long time tend to be pretty resilient and maybe not bothered as much by it which would make sense But makes it hard with others
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Replying to @liminal_warmth
Ok yeah I can see this Maybe a good internal stance is feeling secure in your abilities and using them to be helpful?
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Replying to @eigenrobot
Yeah I’m trying to learn how to be less “playful” in the challenging sense and more playful in a friendly silly way This originated because I have a small sadistic streak tbh I don’t have a better explanation
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Replying to @liminal_warmth @eigenrobot
if that kind of play is really important to you, maybe think of it as a filter? in the startup sense of forcing new friendships to "fail fast," or the PUA idea of being "polarizing" might be worth putting time into other types of play for the sake of exploration, ofc
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Replying to @selentelechia @eigenrobot
I think it’s important to me only as a learned behavior. I really just get energy from being around people I like and making them feel good. Being “funny” is my default setting (or trying to). My primary historical way to do that is to tease and bond.
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I also think that I’m overly sensitive to rejection now that I’m newly solo after (~16 years?) of being in LTR so every bad friend mood feels like a risk of life support being cut off This is the face of anxiety
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Replying to @liminal_warmth @eigenrobot
oh I feel that after my relationship right before eigen I found all kinds of insecurities I didn't think were a problem anymore bc I had only "solved" them in the sense that the prior relationship had made them a non-issue which was necessary for healing, but not sufficient ^^
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Replying to @selentelechia @eigenrobot
Yeah I mean I could always retreat from social faux pas and spend time with my s/o until things had blown over before But now the stakes feel higher because if I annoy my friends then I get to sit at home Alone
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Replying to @liminal_warmth @selentelechia
Or travel to Seattle and see other friends You are very likeable you know Always good to hone this but youre starting from a p good place
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Replying to @eigenrobot @selentelechia
I really appreciate that and need to hear it right now Thank you I don’t feel very likable right now
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