"shit tests" are OPPORTUNITIES to flex your charm "Ahaha someone is putting me in a bind! Let me break out a shit-eating grin, demonstrate that I could pass it if with flying colors if I chose, and then deliberately fail in the most dramatic way possible"
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Replying to @shade_nyc
Charm is the most important trait to develop I think
Hmm
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Replying to @eigenrobot
Imagine someone who has a learning disorder that is like being autism spectrum only it specifically makes nonverbal cues hard to pick up.
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Replying to @shade_nyc
Hmm. Hmmmmm. I am maybe bad at figuring advice out on this point because I think I am hypersensitive to such things. Hmmmmm.
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Replying to @eigenrobot
It’s OK, I just appreciate that you are trying to help
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Replying to @shade_nyc
I think you could compensate for this--even turn it to a strength--if you could move past anxiety to use your words a lot Being extremely open is one way of managing a kind of social intimacy, although execution is a bit of a trick
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Replying to @eigenrobot
I have pretty strong verbal intelligence, though speaking doesn’t come as easily to me as writing. I’m working on that though, I think that part is mainly due to how much social isolation I’ve experienced in my life and how much time I’ve spent online instead.
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Replying to @shade_nyc
I would bet you just need (i) a bit of practice, probably regular; and (ii) a way to get past social anxiety Anxiety makes it very hard to be charming but it is a solvable problem
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Replying to @eigenrobot
What I struggle with at this point in my life is my mind being blank or too distracted by stimulus to formulate things to say at the rate you need to in regular, spontaneous conversation rather than feeling anxious. I’ve experienced things way scarier than social situations.
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Easy solution for many such situations: ask someone else questions. What do they think of FOO, how they're doing with BAR, etc
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