I’ve had a lot of angst over the last year about not having any goals or burning passions that really drive me at this point in my life, but last night I was thinking... What if this is good? /1
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I read a lot of stoic thoughts and have been trying to focus on acceptance and have been thinking through whether my career choice (or company choices) have really been right for me over 10 years in tech in a variety of techie PM roles. I’ve not enjoyed it. /2
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Part of that is that I was doing it for the money and grabbing whatever came along, the whole time moaning about my lack of passion. But then I quit and built a book business that now independently sustains me without needing to work more... and I still felt frustrated. /3
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But I’ve started wondering if just accepting that this okay, that I’m not a slave to any particular passion or outcome, is extremely freeing. Freedom from attachment and all that. Viewed in this way, not having any goals is... really exciting. /4
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Because that means that I can’t really fail. And opens up opportunities to play and try all kinds of interesting things I might not otherwise try. Unconstricted. Independent and free. Maybe I should embrace this. /5
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The most interesting things I’ve ever done have come out of periods of unconstricted, unstructured play. Novels. Card games. Apps and software, half-built usually but fun/useful nonetheless. And the least productive periods were when I was climbing the corporate ladder. /6
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Maybe this is just who I am and I should lean into the chaos and embrace the creativity and let the garden flourish wild. It seems to be important to my happiness. This is a good and useful thing to know. /7
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More thought required—but intentionally seeking out interesting things and passionately playing with them in whatever ways appeal to me may be the path for the most personal happiness for me... it’s worth the experiment. /8
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And I’ve spent so much of my life living in fear, probably from growing up relatively poor. “What if I can’t make rent?” “What if I can’t feed myself?” But these have never been actual problems for me. Conjured phantoms. I have been very lucky. /9
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Why spend any energy worrying about things until they’re a real problem to solve? I think my new mantra needs to be “accept, relax, and go play” /end
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Yes! Related have I foisted this on you? https://www.amazon.com/dp/1476731713/
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