creepiness is, among other things, a problem of *perception* - men can be astonishingly bad at reading a person or a room, at telling what is even going on at a social / emotional level; i think many women don't quite understand how bad men can be at this (5/n)
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lots of things get in the way of accurate social / emotional reading - anxiety, projecting a fantasy, being stuck in your head instead of sensing with your body - and fortunately it's possible to drastically improve all of them, although that's not all you need to flirt (6/n)
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for me personally it's been wild to have, just in the past 2 weeks, gone through an emotional transition like "wait. what if... women... actually *want* to be flirted with, as long as it's *good*? what if flirting isn't *intrinsically evil*?" (7/n)
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Replying to @QiaochuYuan
oh yeah women love being flirted with . . . when they want to be flirted with . . . by you the trick is mostly identifying this state correctly and not doing it if they don't want it a good first step is being low-level playful all the time and waiting for reciprocation
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Replying to @eigenrobot
i'm trying out being low-level playful all the time and it rules
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Replying to @QiaochuYuan @eigenrobot
How the Hell do you be low level playful?
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Replying to @shade_nyc @QiaochuYuan
Do you routinely make jokes in your routine conversation? Punning, or flourishes that make other people chuckle, or---?
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Replying to @eigenrobot @QiaochuYuan
No, I’m an introvert who is lucky if he can think of anything to say at all in conversations, definitely not full of witticisms.
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Replying to @shade_nyc @QiaochuYuan
Hmmm Perhaps spent time practicing on Twitter?
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Replying to @eigenrobot @QiaochuYuan
I mean, I could do that, it’s always a lot easier for me to communicate in text than in person. I know a lot of goofy people on here to joke with.
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Yeah, start there, then dip your toes in meatspace perhaps?
Its maybe a bit tricky for me to imagine how to develop this, I had a lot of humor in my household as a kid 
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