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eigenrobot
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eigenrobot
@eigenrobot

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eigenrobot

@eigenrobot

robot. friend.

eigenrobot.substack.com
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    1. QC‏ @QiaochuYuan 4 Jan 2020

      i wonder if westerners like maintaining a nudity taboo partly b/c they're so bad at reading each other that they don't know how else to tell when someone wants to fuck (1/n)

      7 replies 4 retweets 82 likes
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    2. QC‏ @QiaochuYuan 4 Jan 2020

      a lot of the discourse around men being creepy feels misaimed to me; it focuses on behaviors when it's more about the lack of fit between those behaviors and the social / emotional context, which is fundamentally about failure to read + act on the context (2/n)

      1 reply 1 retweet 62 likes
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    3. QC‏ @QiaochuYuan 4 Jan 2020

      i saw and read a lot about men being creepy growing up (and still do) and the lesson i internalized was to just never hit on women ever. it didn't help that i never saw what *good* flirting was supposed to look like, except in TV / movies and that had its own problems (3/n)

      3 replies 3 retweets 116 likes
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    4. QC‏ @QiaochuYuan 4 Jan 2020

      it is actually quite subtle to communicate the difference tho, b/c good vs. bad fit to the context could hinge delicately on the sparkle in her eyes or whether her tone is more playful or bored - hard to communicate through text, although video could work (4/n)

      1 reply 0 retweets 41 likes
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    5. QC‏ @QiaochuYuan 4 Jan 2020

      creepiness is, among other things, a problem of *perception* - men can be astonishingly bad at reading a person or a room, at telling what is even going on at a social / emotional level; i think many women don't quite understand how bad men can be at this (5/n)

      3 replies 0 retweets 60 likes
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    6. QC‏ @QiaochuYuan 4 Jan 2020

      lots of things get in the way of accurate social / emotional reading - anxiety, projecting a fantasy, being stuck in your head instead of sensing with your body - and fortunately it's possible to drastically improve all of them, although that's not all you need to flirt (6/n)

      1 reply 0 retweets 52 likes
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    7. QC‏ @QiaochuYuan 4 Jan 2020

      for me personally it's been wild to have, just in the past 2 weeks, gone through an emotional transition like "wait. what if... women... actually *want* to be flirted with, as long as it's *good*? what if flirting isn't *intrinsically evil*?" (7/n)

      4 replies 2 retweets 89 likes
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      eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 4 Jan 2020
      Replying to @QiaochuYuan

      oh yeah women love being flirted with . . . when they want to be flirted with . . . by you the trick is mostly identifying this state correctly and not doing it if they don't want it a good first step is being low-level playful all the time and waiting for reciprocation

      11:22 AM - 4 Jan 2020
      • 2 Retweets
      • 49 Likes
      • Shadrach Edwards [no such person] visa is stretching (hips) 🪔 Anarcho-Moses 🐍 Mandy VeryRealInternetFriend Anurag Baveja bitterness🪔 golden phantom (50(1 + sqrt(5))/100) Bill Seitz of FluxGarden
      7 replies 2 retweets 49 likes
        1. 𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘢𝘯‏ @maybegray 4 Jan 2020
          Replying to @eigenrobot @QiaochuYuan

          I love “just always be playful and see who is receptive to you” advice, that really resonates with me.

          0 replies 0 retweets 9 likes
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        2. vector (wagmi)‏ @VectorOfBasis 4 Jan 2020
          Replying to @eigenrobot @QiaochuYuan

          I think this is very good advice! I'm not fully sure about ladies' preference towards flirting, but I think being "low-level playful" is very good, helps in general in making friends.

          1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes
        3. vector (wagmi)‏ @VectorOfBasis 4 Jan 2020
          Replying to @VectorOfBasis @eigenrobot @QiaochuYuan

          My 2 cents: you can try being a little bit playful with shop assistants. I don't mean "try to pick them up" or anything stupid / creepy / harmful. Just something like "it's raining today, I forgot my umbrella, now I'm all wet, I'm so silly". But first and foremost be polite!

          1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes
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        2. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 4 Jan 2020

          Hmmmm! Do you think you would like to become better at it? Do you think there are (general) lessons you could apply from learning keyboard?

          0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        3. End of conversation
        1. loaded dice genetic gambler‏ @SilverVVulpes 4 Jan 2020
          Replying to @eigenrobot @QiaochuYuan

          can confirm that's a good first step. then learn to cope with rejection like you do with lossing a fight in videogame's. then meet friends of friends. you should be fine eventually

          0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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        2. QC‏ @QiaochuYuan 4 Jan 2020
          Replying to @eigenrobot

          i'm trying out being low-level playful all the time and it rules 👍

          1 reply 0 retweets 17 likes
        3. 𝔰𝔥𝔞𝔡𝔢‏ @shade_nyc 4 Jan 2020
          Replying to @QiaochuYuan @eigenrobot

          How the Hell do you be low level playful?

          2 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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        2. eeeeeeeee‏ @babarganesh 4 Jan 2020
          Replying to @eigenrobot @QiaochuYuan

          you hit the nail me to self: try being low level playful and waiting for recip --- self to me: try being low level anything, no

          1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
        3. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 4 Jan 2020
          Replying to @babarganesh @QiaochuYuan

          oh no 😳

          0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        4. End of conversation

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