I know people who are abusive / manipulative that I have to interact with (social reasons, professional reasons, etc.) IMO it's very important when interacting with such people to demonstrate, "I am not an easy mark." They will still try to fuck with you... make it boring
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my heuristic is to be VERY direct, honestly pretty harsh, when someone introduces bullshit drama early in our acquaintanceship my own life is overwhelming dude I have zero time or patience or wherewithal to clean up after you
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I find that people respond in one of three ways: 1) backing off (if they're just a normal person who overstepped) or losing interest (see "make it boring") 2) game recognize game, cautious / wary 3) tantrum / escalation
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if #3 it's time for no contact! I usually don't NC as first resort because it's usually inconvenient (otherwise I would just avoid these people entirely)
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various addenda... most abusers / manipulators are expressing their own tremendous pain and trauma and have no self-awareness about what they're doing. true predators (http://hintjens.com/blog:_psychopaths …) are rare IMO, or to be more precise they cluster / accrete in easy hunting grounds
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protect yourself, always, but fight for your internal compassion because (again IMO, this is all just my opinion) without cognitive empathy you cannot emotionally detach enough to handle the situations that abusers and manipulators create
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also uhhhh I don't have any special expertise here, my credentials are: 1) I dated much-older guys from 16 – 20 2) have read a bunch of, hmm, "applied ethnography" on the topic 3) trial and error handling people over the course of my life + observing patterns in others' lives
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I'm 25 lol so my advice requires high sodium for efficacy
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relevant:
@JeffC1956's three principles of personal balance https://chappyessays.wordpress.com/2015/08/04/three-principles/ … I have a feeling that I'll return to that link many times!2 replies 1 retweet 8 likesShow this thread
that's a lovely exception at the end
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